Worst Sentences by Dan Brown

I’ve read no more of Dan Brown’s books than reading over a chapter of The Da Vinci Code. Because his books inspire so much enmity ((My favorite item of disgust for Brown: There is a Facebook page, I Hate Dan Brown Strictly for Literary Reasons.)) among other writers who make much less money, I’ve wanted to impersonate the Typical-Brown-Reader and earnestly read one of Brown’s books. It’s doubtful if I ever would have completed this reading (or been earnest about it), however, so I decided to fortify my distaste for a author I’ve never read with the Telegraph’s list of worst sentences in The Lost Symbol and The Da Vinci Code:

“Death, in this forsaken place, could come in countless forms. Geologist Charles Brophy had endured the savage splendor of this terrain for years, and yet nothing could prepare him for a fate as barbarous and unnatural as the one about to befall him.” Opening Sentences of Deception Point.

My French stinks, Langdon thought, but my zodiac iconography is pretty good. The Da Vinci Code, chapter 3

“Although not overly handsome in a classical sense, the forty-year-old Langdon had what his female colleagues referred to as an ‘erudite’ appeal — wisp of gray in his thick brown hair, probing blue eyes, an arrestingly deep voice, and the strong, carefree smile of a collegiate athlete.” Angels and Demons, chapter 1

“He was sitting all alone in the enormous cabin of a Falcon 2000EX corporate jet as it bounced its way through turbulence. In the background, the dual Pratt & Whitney engines hummed evenly.” The Lost Symbol, chapter 1

“Overhanging her precarious body was a jaundiced face whose skin resembled a sheet of parchment paper punctured by two emotionless eyes.” Deception Point, chapter 8

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